Warmth
by thexendxgame
Summary: “I’ll be fine.” As the words left her mouth, she couldn’t help but think that she was really trying to reassure herself rather than the man sitting next to her. ---- My take on the return of Donnie Pfaster.


_Author: thexendxgame_

_Summary: "Mulder, this case doesn't bother me." She smiled reassuringly. "I'll be fine." As the words left her mouth, she couldn't help but think that she was really trying to reassure herself rather than the man sitting next to her. She swallowed hard, trying to alleviate the knots in her throat and stomach.------ My take on the return of Donnie Pfaster._

_Spoilers: Orison_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Scully, Mulder, or any of the other X-Files characters mentioned in the story below. I only own the situations in which I put them. Thank you. _

XxX

_Warmth_

"Do you ever just wish for normal?" She asked quietly

His response was also made in a hushed tone as he continued to stare up at the stars above them. His words coming out in a mist as his breath lingered in the cool air. "Yes."

She wasn't exactly sure why his response had surprised her. She'd been expecting a long, drawn out answer like "No, because normal is a lie and I can't be part of the lie"; the same message he'd been preaching to her for years. A "Yes" as a response to the question of a "normal life" was not at all what she'd expected from Fox Mulder.

He'd caught her staring at him, but neither of them relinquished their gaze. They just stared at each other; each posing questions in their minds that would in all likely hood remain unspoken.

It was moments like these that made them question themselves and their relationship. Made them wonder if partners- or even friends was where it ended with them. Moments when the silence over took them; yet, everything that needed to be said was said with each of them hearing and understanding the other.

Mulder was the first to break their gaze, returning it to the stars above them.

"Despite what you think, Scully," He finally said. "Despite how I live; I've always wanted a family." A faint smile played at his lips. "Find my soul mate, settle down, maybe even have a few kids." He let his line of vision fall from the heavens down to the tops of his shoes. "Who doesn't wish for that"

Scully smiled weakly at her partner. She couldn't help but notice how sad Mulder looked as he spoke. She wondered if he'd given up completely on the idea of happiness. She wondered if he'd keep looking for his "soul mate," as he called it; or if he'd succumbed to the burden of "the truth" and would continue to carry it alone.

"You deserve to be happy, Mulder."

He turned his head and looked at her for a moment. "Do you regret it Scully?" He asked. "Do you regret ending up here, sitting on the porch of an abandoned house in the middle of God Knows Where, Virginia. Stuck with your crack pot partner Spooky Mulder?"

She smiled and almost laughed at him. Not really at the statement he'd just made, but more at the almost accusatory tone in his voice. "No, Mulder." She chuckled. "I wouldn't trade this; wouldn't trade you for the world." She smiled. "I've found my place."

He nodded knowingly but did not respond to her statement. He marveled at the feelings rushing through him at that moment and wondered how it was that she was able to conjure them.

"We had," He stammered. "Um, we'd better get back." He stood up and offered his hand to help her to her feet. "I'll take you home."

Scully placed her hand in his and let his warm fingers wrap gently around her own. She was glad it was dark, therefore hiding her flushed cheeks. She could feel the goose bumps rise on her skin as the proceeded to the car. Much to her delight, she noticed that he had not let go of her hand and continued to hold on to in until she was situated in the car.

They'd been driving for about an hour before Mulder could get his speech function to work again. He wondered why he was having such a hard time talking to her tonight. He'd always been able to talk to Scully- nothing had ever gotten in the way of that. But tonight, something was different.

"I meant to tell you that you look beautiful tonight." He finally choked.

Scully looked down at herself. She was still clad in her little black dress and strappy heels; attire she had chosen for the date she'd been on when Mulder had called her that night.

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry I pulled you away from dinner." He rolled his eyes at himself.

"No, no." She assured him. "I was hoping you'd call me."

"Really?" He glanced over at the beautiful red-head beside him. "You don't like him?"

"Don't get me wrong, Mulder. Jeff is a very sweet man." She sighed. "We just didn't-" She searched for the word. "Mesh very well. There was no chemistry."

Scully was watching him when he glanced over at her. "Sorry it didn't work out." He lied. "I guess you won't be seeing him anymore?" He hoped it wasn't too obvious that he was fishing.

She sighed heavily and turned her attention to the piece of fabric she'd been fiddling with. "No, I guess not."

Mulder couldn't help but feel guilty about his thoughts on the matter. He'd always felt very possessive of his partner. He was happy when he knew where she was, what she was doing, who she was with. He was happiest when she was right there in front of him. Like his little FBI wife.

He chuckled.

"What?" Scully shot quickly, suddenly feeling very self conscious.

"Nothing."

"Come on, Mulder. You can't do that to me." She whined. "Tell me what you're laughing at."

"Just the thought you being married."

She glared at him. "Why's that so funny?" She hadn't meant to snap at him- it just came out that way. "Is it really so hard to imagine someone loving me? Actually wanting to come home to me at the end of the day?"

He reach over and grabbed her hand before she was able to say anything else. "No, Scully." Speaking over he attempt to keep going. "That's not what I was saying." He smiled. "I was just thinking of how your husband might react to me calling you away from dinner and out into the middle of no where?"

She didn't respond to his statement; only let her focus fall to his hand that was once again enveloping her own.

"Any man, Scully," He said quietly. "Would be luck to come home to you every night."

Her eyes shot up quickly and held his gaze momentarily, then quickly looked away again.

The rest of the car ride elapsed in silence.

xXx

She didn't remember falling asleep. Her eyes fluttered open when she felt the car slow to a stop. A slight smiled formed on her lips when she saw that their hands were still clasped together.

"Scully." He said softly. "Scully, we're here." Turning her head slowly, she smiled at him. "You fell asleep."

She nodded sleepily. "I'm sorry." Stretching, she glanced at the clock. "It's already 3 in the morning?" Scully hadn't realized so much time had gone by. "You might as well come in for some coffee."

Mulder offered no argument.

20 minutes later…

Scully had changed and was now sitting on the sofa, sipping coffee with her friend.

Her friend… Scully watched the man in front of her through the steam billowing from her coffee cup. When had this gotten to be so damn confusing? They could be chasing aliens, monsters, and murderers one day and sitting on the sofa watching a movie or drinking coffee the next. He was so handsome. Her goose bumps were back. Why couldn't he see what she saw? Why couldn't he stop for a moment and focus on something besides his X-Files? Why couldn't he realize that she was in love with him?"

"Are you cold, Scully?" He saw the goose bumps come up on her flesh and ran his hand over her arm.

"I'm fine." She took another sip of coffee.

He grabbed the mug away from her and sat it, along with his own, on the table.

"Come here." He ordered. He pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her. "There we go."

Despite her better judgment, Scully allowed herself to sink into his embrace and relax. "Thank you." She could feel the grogginess start to overtake her.

xXx

He looked so peaceful laying there on the sofa. She didn't have the heart to wake him. Peaceful was not a description that she was able to use for her partner very often. Honestly though, in the back of her mind, she just wasn't ready for him to leave. She liked having him there. They were late anyway- she might as well let him sleep.

Even though he'd opened his eyes, Mulder wasn't absolutely sure that he wasn't dreaming. He looked around the room for a moment before registering that he was in Scully's apartment. He could hear her moving around in the kitchen and could smell the coffee she'd put on to brew. After a few minutes, Scully appeared before him with a hot cup of coffee. She handed it to him. "I wondered when you'd wake up." She smiled.

"Good Morning." He smiled back before taking a huge gulp of coffee. He glanced at the clock. "We're late." Mulder furrowed his brow at her.

"Skinner already called." She sat down beside him. "I told him we'd been held up on the lead we'd been following last night and didn't get in 'til the wee hours of the morning."

Mulder scoffed at almost choked on his coffee. "Scully? Telling lies?" He teased. "I think you were just looking for an excuse to keep me in your apartment." His eyes widened at her and he stared in mock horror. "You're not going to go all *Misery* on me are you?"

She rolled her eyes. Glad that he'd come off with some smart remark before noticing that she'd been blushing. "You were just so peaceful." She retorted quietly. "I know you haven't been sleeping well and I hated to wake you up."

He watched as she gently pushed a strand of loose hair behind her ear. She was so genuine, so innocent in that moment. She smiled so sweetly when she spoke to him.

Mulder cleared his throat. "Always taking care of me." He muttered. Another strand of hair feel loosely across her cheek. He resisted pushing it aside himself.

"Someone has to Mulder."

There was a tense silence between the two. Scully could feel his stare start to burn holes into her. She was both relieved and disappointed when his cell phone rang.

"Mulder." He answered dryly after fishing the device from his jacket pocket.

Scully picked up the two coffee mugs and headed into the kitchen.

"Yeah-" She heard him say. "We're back in town." He was quiet for a moment. "We'll be there in about an hour."

The phone snapped shut.

"Who was that?" She called from the kitchen.

"Skinner." He stood up and stretched the sleep from him joints and muscles. "He wants us in his office ASAP."

She rounded the corner in time to see the exposed skin of his stomach as he stretched. She prayed she wasn't blushing. She arched her brows in question. "Did he say what he wanted?"

"No, just that he wanted us down there." He rubbed his eyes. "Probably wants to harp us about being late today or something."

"Maybe."

"You get dressed, we'll stop by my place on the way over."

"Okay."

He felt a fleeting urge to follow her into her bedroom.

"I'll be out in the car." He called, knowing that distance from her and her bedroom was probably a good thing right now.

She felt slightly disappointed that he hadn't followed her into her bedroom.

"Okay, I'll only be a few minutes."

He smiled at the sound of her voice from behind the door. He wondered if it was a bad thing that one person could create such a feeling in him.

He got into the car and let his head rest on the steering wheel. There was just too much going through his head. He needed to get back to work.

xXx

The silence in the room was terribly thick and awkward. Mulder nervously toyed with the end of his tie, waiting for someone to say something.

Skinner was still reading over a report that was sitting on his desk.

It seemed like and eternity had passed when the assistant director finally looked up at them and cleared his throat.

xXx

Mulder still wasn't sure why Skinner had put them on the case. He knew that they were the ideal agents to work it; they had experienced this guy before. Still though, considering past circumstances, he wondered if it was a good idea.

Scully hadn't said much since their meeting in Skinner's office. She hadn't been able to hide the look on her face when Skinner had told them. It had been quick, fleeting; but it had been there. A flash of fear sprang into her eyes and Mulder had seen it.

She knew Mulder had seen it and she knew that he would try to distance her from this case as much as he could. What she didn't know is that Mulder had felt that same fear.

He had been one of the few people that knew how their first encounter with Donnie Pfaster had affected her. He'd been there those first few days, there to help her through the nightmares. He'd held her when she'd woken up screaming.

She glanced over and caught him staring at her. Worry etched his features.

"I don't think you should have come with me, Scully." He finally said.

"Mulder, this case doesn't bother me." She smiled reassuringly. "I'll be fine." As the words left her mouth, she couldn't help but think that she was really trying to reassure herself rather than the man sitting next to her. She swallowed hard, trying to alleviate the knots in her throat and stomach.

"Go home Scully."

"A man has escaped from prison." She snapped. "You can't ask or expect me to stay behind."

"It's not just any man." He snapped back. "He took you. Donnie Pfaster did a number on your head like I've never seen." He noticed her sideways glance as they pulled into the motel they'd be staying in. She parked the car and reach to take the keys out of the ignition. He grabbed her hand quickly. "It's okay to walk away."

She pulled away quickly and opened the car door. "Would you Mulder?" She asked. "Walk away?"

He knew better than to argue with her anymore. It would just be a waste of time anyway. He got out of the car to help her with the luggage.

xXx

Mulder stared blankly at the television screen in front of him. He was exhausted. He couldn't manage to get to sleep though. He couldn't get comfortable.

Giving up, he flipped off the television and slid out of bed. He pulled his shirt over his head as he headed into the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment before brushing his teeth.

Settling back down into his bed, he let his heavy lids close. It seemed like he'd just fallen asleep when he was startled awake. He sat up quickly. He heard it again, a cry from the room beside him. He got out of bed and listened through the door that joined the two rooms.

"Scully?" He knocked.

No response.

He unlocked the door and stepped into the dark room. Scully was sitting up, her knees drawn up to her chest.

"Are you okay?" He whispered.

She nodded. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"You're shaking." Sitting beside her on the bed, he wrapped his arms around her. "Bad dream?"

She didn't reply. Tears were threatening to stream down her cheeks if she said anything. Her head rested on his bare chest and she let her eyes close. The slow, even rhythm of his breathing let her know that he'd fallen asleep.

xXx

"You two put this guy away."

Mulder looked up at the prison director that had been speaking to them. He nodded. "Yeah, and someone forgot to throw away the key."

"How'd he get out of here?" Scully asked quietly. She was holding the case file that outline Donnie Pfaster. She hadn't been able to make herself open it. She'd had the creeps since she and Mulder had gotten into the car that morning. She looked over her shoulder at her partner.

"That's almost besides the point now, don't you think?" He snarled, not appreciating the implications that he'd not been doing his job.

"A man has escaped from prison." Scully replied coolly. "How is that beside the point?"

"Out for a day and the sick-o is already starting where he left off."

"Donnie Pfaster isn't sick, Sir." She turned to face the two men. "He is just plain evil." She dropped the file on the table and strode from the room.

Scully waited for her partner out in the car. She needed a few minutes alone to gather herself. As much as she hated it, as much as she'd denied it; this case was bothering her.

A moment later, the car door opened and Mulder was seated beside her.

"Scully,"

"Mulder, before you say anything - I am going with you."

He stared at her for a moment, taking in the cool, determined look on her face. He couldn't help but be a little disappointed; she'd since covered up the freckles that he'd noticed on her cheeks that morning.

He finally nodded. "Okay."

He started the car.

xXx

She was still trying to brace herself when he came around and opened the car door for her.

From the look on her face; he knew not ask her any questions. He knew she'd been lying to him since Skinner had called them into his office the day before. This case was bothering her. This case had been bothering her for years.

He'd hoped that she would have opted to stay in the car. He had known she wouldn't, but he still hoped. Shaking his head as she stepped out the car, he followed her up to the yellow tape that surrounded the scene.

Stealing a quick look behind her, she assured herself that he was still behind her. They ducked under the yellow tape and approached an officer that looked like he'd taken charge of the situation.

The young man turned and greeted them. "You two must be the FBI agents."

"Yeah, Special Agents Mulder and Scully." Mulder introduced them. "What do we have here?"

"Looks like your guy Pfaster came through here with a vengeance." He jerked his head to the right. "Jogger found her in a ditch just down the other side of the hill."

The officer led them up the hill. Once on top, they were able to look down on the bloody scene Donny had left behind.

The woman's hair had been cut so close to the scalp that wounds had been inflicted.

He stole a quick look at his partner before making his way down into the ditch. Scully followed close behind him.

The victim had been a young blonde. She was dressed in a pink running suit.

"Jumped her while she was jogging." The officer muttered. "She probably never even knew what hit her."

Scully shuttered. "Unfortunately," She replied. "This woman was probably very aware of what was happening to her."

"No one in the area heard or saw anything?"

"No."

"Any evidence at all that Pfaster was even here?"

"Besides the girl, none." He sighed. "My men are still canvassing the area. "We'll find something."

"Call us when you do." He turned. "Come on Scully."

She quickly joined him and they made their way back to the car.

Once inside, Scully let a huge breath of air escape her lungs. "You didn't stay very long." She said when Mulder finally joined her in the car.

"There wasn't any reason to." He looked over at her. "Plus, there was no reason to have you there any longer than you needed to be."

She stared into her lap. "You don't have to worry about me Mulder." She whispered. "I'm fine."

"Yes I do." He watched her intently, trying to read the expression on her face. "I'm worried about you Scully." He took hold of her nervously shaking hand. "You're important to me."

She couldn't make herself look at him. She wanted to, but she couldn't bring her eyes from their clasped hands. She nodded. "I know."

Tapping on the glass of the car window startled both of them. An officer was peering in at them. Scully rolled down the window.

"Came over the radio." He said breathlessly. "We have another one."

xXx

The 45 minute car ride to the next scene was spent in virtual silence.

Scully let her face rest against the cool glass of the window. She was fighting off another bout of nausea.

Mulder glanced over at his partner for what seemed like the millionth time. Her light skin had lost a few shades. She looked ill. He sighed.

She should have stayed home.

Scully sat up when she felt the car slow to a stop. She reached for the door. Mulder grabbed her shoulder. "Wait in the car."

"Mulder, " She opened the door. "Stop!"

He reluctantly complied and exited the vehicle.

"This guy is a sick one."

Mulder stopped to speak with the detective in charge while Scully continued on ahead. She almost lost it.

She knew she was going to faint. The nausea hit her first and then the blurry vision. She could feel her knees start to buckle. Mulder's hand kept her up. He'd seen the look on her face, he knew she was going down.

Looking down, Mulder felt that he too was going to vomit. The poor woman who's body law sprawled on the ground before them had been so badly mutilated that they wondered in anyone would be able to ID her. The clothes she'd been wearing were skimpy, leading them to believe she had probably been a 'working' girl. The ring and pinky fingers were missing from both of her hands. Remnants of the woman's brown hair littered the ground around her.

"This mutilation isn't characteristic of his other victims." He motioned towards the girl's face.

"She must have made him angry." Scully said quietly.

Mulder knelt beside the body. "What's this?" He caught sight of something under her body. An officer helped him retrieve whatever it was from under the woman's corpse.

Scully felt her eyes grow wide and a gasp escape her throat.

"A wig?" The officer asked. "Does he have a thing for red heads or something?"

Mulder glanced up at his partner. "You could say that."

The look on her face was too much for him. Dropping the wig, he rose to his feet and headed away from the scene, grabbing Scully's arm as he passed her.

After almost dragging her all the way to car, he opened the door and bluntly ordered her to "Get in."

She did as she was told.

The anger he'd been feeling had slowly ebbed away into a sick feeling that was sitting in the pit of his stomach.

"Mulder," Scully grabbed his arm. "Pull over!"

From the look on her face it was quite obvious that she was about to be sick. He pulled over quickly. Scully got out so quickly she almost tripped.

When she made her way back to the car a few minutes later she could see Mulder sitting on the hood, waiting for her.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, just nauseous." She nodded. "I'm fine though, I guess it just shocked me."

"I guess shocked is one word for it." Mulder rolled his eyes.

"Well what else do you want from me?" She waited for an answer. "Do you want me to tell you that from the moment I heard that this monster escaped that I've been scared to death?"

"No." He looked away. "I just want you to be honest with me." He caught her hand in his. "If you're scared to death, then tell me. If you're okay, then tell me that!" He squeezed her hand. "But do not give me that "I'm fine" bull shit when it's written all over you that you are not fine!"

She stared up at him, her blue eyes filling with tears. "I've always been honest with you Mulder." She sniffed. "I'm scared."

Stepping closer she rested her face on his chest. She let her eyes close as his arms drew up around her.

"Go home Scully." He said quietly. "There's no reason to put yourself through all of this." He kissed the top of her head.

She looked up at him. His eyes seemed sad. Scully couldn't help but wonder what all was going through the man's head. She knew he was worried about her. She was tired to trying to make him believe her; believe that she was okay.

It wasn't working anyway.

Stepping away from him, she nodded her head.

Without another word, they both got back into the car.

xXx

Guilt tugged at her as she sank down into the sofa in her living room. She should have been with Mulder, helping him.

Still though, she was glad Mulder had insisted she go home and, despite everything, she was glad she had listened to him.

A chill ran down her back and she reach for a blanket. Instead, she'd grabbed hold of a suit jacket. A smile spread itself across her face. He must have left it the other night. She pulled it around her shoulders and breathed in deeply. Just the smell of his cologne was comforting and her eyes slid closed. Scully fell asleep feeling the safest she'd felt in nights.

But one is never entirely safe from evil.

xXx

_Mulder could hear her screams but couldn't find her in the darkness._

"_Scully!" He shouted_

"_Mulder, Help me!" She screamed. "Mulder!" _

"_Scully, where are you? I can't find you!" _

"_Please Mulder! Please!" There sobs in her voice as she pleaded with him. _

_A long shrill scream pierced the darkness fading slowly into the oblivion of silence. _

"_Scully!" No answer. "Scully!" Panic sank in. "Scully!"_

He shot up out of bed and was instantly pacing the floor. His body was shaking. Sweat drenched him. He was fairly certain that tears were running down his clammy face.

"That was too real." He muttered.

He caught sight of his cell phone and scrambled for it.

He dialed her cell.

There was no answer. He tried again.

Nothing.

He dialed her home and then his, but still got nothing.

The panic from his dream was starting to creep into his reality

As quickly as he'd ever known himself to move, he dressed and got to his car. He had to see her and make sure she was okay. He had to know that it had just been a nightmare.

The drive was all a blur. Mulder's mind was not focused on anything but getting to Scully as quickly as possible.

Fox Mulder was a man who believed in the hunch, the gut feeling. It was something he could count on- his ability to judge any situation even before he stepped into it. It had kept him alive and it helped him solve case after case. Right now though, he felt suddenly cursed. He'd have done anything not have the feeling that was stabbing at his insides. He pushed harder on the gas pedal. And for the first time in no one knows how long - Mulder prayed.

xXx

She wasn't sure whether she'd opened her eyes. She blinked again. Still, darkness consumed her. As she tried to shift her weight she realized that her hands and feet were bound. Her body began to register the chill of the damp, concrete floor she was laying on. Panic struck her as she struggled to remember what had happened.

She'd been in her bedroom. She had just changed into her pajamas and brushed her hair. She remembered moving to the sofa and pulling Mulder's jacket around her. The collar that rubbed her cheek let her know that she was still wearing it. She'd fallen asleep. She remembered screaming for him, begging him to help her.

Scully could feel her eyes widen with fear and she could not keep the sobs from wracking her body. She gasped when the door opened and light flooded the room.

There he stood: the monster. Evil.

"Hey there girly girl."

xXx

The breath in his lungs was so cold, so labored, that each heave of his chest made him think his lungs might explode. As he reached for the door knob - he already knew what he was going to find.

What was so eerie was that everything seemed to be normal. Nothing was disheveled, nothing out of place. He half expected Scully to come walking in from the kitchen.

The room was ice cold. He stepped inside, letting the door close behind him. His foot steps echoed loudly as he walked down the hall.

Her bedroom door was ajar. The sick feeling in his stomach warned him, almost begged him not to open the door. He fought it - the urge to turn and run - and pushed the door open.

The only thing askew in the room was an over turned bed side table and Scully's gun laying in the floor. Stepping closer, he could see blood on the corner of the table.

He closed his eyes.

She'd been startled from her place on the sofa. He could see the look on her face. Terror. She was running for her gun. She'd reached for it, but her feet were pulled out from under her. She cried out as her face hit the corner of the table, cutting her cheek. Her eyes grew wide as someone came to stand over her.

Mulder's eyes shot open - her scream echoing in his ears. He walked around to the other side of the bed.

Now it was Mulder's turn to get sick. He couldn't control the nausea that came over him.

He could feel himself shaking. Breath was becoming harder and harder to draw in. Mulder reach for what he'd seen; for what had rendered him a panicked mess.

He ran it through his fingers, a painful lump forming in his throat.

"Scully." He whispered. Letting the lock of red hair fall to the ground, he left the room.

xXx

"He won't know where to look." She thought. "I don't even know where I am."

"Scully."

She gasped at the sound of his voice. A tear ran down her cheek. She knew he would look until he found her, he would never give up on her. What scare her was knowing what it was that he may find.

The thought that Mulder may find her dead and mutilated was frightening. Oddly enough; she wasn't totally frightened for herself. Death and even pain was something she could process. What she couldn't process was how Mulder would deal with finding her in such a state. She knew how protective he was of her, she knew how he felt about her.

She knew how she felt about him.

She could feel his panic even now. She closed her eyes.

He was lost… he didn't know where to start. He was trying to find something, anything to let him know where she was. He was crying.

"Mulder." She sighed.

Scully cringed away from the light as the door opened once more.

"Why are you shaking girly girl? The voice sent shivers down her spine and as much as she tried not to show it, she was obviously afraid. "There's nothing to be afraid of."

She pursed her lips - determined not to make a sound. Maybe if she were unresponsive, boring; Pfaster would leave her alone.

"Ah, don't worry Agent Scully." Phaster chuckled. "Your partner will find you." He headed back towards the door. "I'm going to call him up and let him know exactly where you are." He pulled the door closed, leaving the frightened woman alone in the dark. He couldn't help but grin at himself.

Scully had been the only one who'd gotten away. He'd been thinking of nothing else but her during his years in prison. The feel of her silky, natural hair running through his fingers. Her beautiful, perfectly manicured fingernails. Just the thought of it was sending shivers down his spine.

She'd been a feisty one and he recalled thinking it ironic that she'd put up such a fight; living up to her fiery red hair color. He'd over powered her though; he'd gotten the upper hand.

It had been Mulder - he'd been the one who'd barged in and ruined everything. He'd had the perfect evening planned out - every detail. Mulder had ruined everything!

Donny hit the wall with his fist, anger bubbling up inside him.

He'd seen the way Mulder had grabbed Scully away from him, how possessive and protective he'd been over her.

He allowed his anger to subside and a grin to spread across his face. He'd show him this time.

xXx

The feeling of complete loss and helplessness had not been so prominent since Scully's disappearance years before. He'd had nothing to work with, no where to start. He could only sit and wait.

Wait for what - he wasn't sure.

He was afraid.

Nothing ever scared Mulder like this - but the thought of losing her, the thought of Scully never being with him again terrified him beyond belief. He couldn't imagine his life without her and had a hard time remembering life before her.

It amazed him that this woman who'd initially been sent to ruin him, to debunk his work and disprove his life's work and wormed herself into becoming his whole life.

He felt sick. Why was it that he was only willing to address his feelings for Scully when it seemed like he was going to lose her? Why couldn't he just tell her?

He buried his face in his hands.

"Scully." He breathed. "I can't find you, Scully." He inhaled, the sharp breath burning his lungs. "Scully."

xXx

"Scully." His voice seemed so sad. "Scully, help me."

She opened her eyes. The sound of his tired voice still echoed around her. She could almost feel his breath on her cheek as he repeated her name.

"Mulder."

She could still smell his cologne on the jacket she'd wrapped herself in the night before. Taking a deep breath, she tried to find some comfort in the scent of him.

She wanted to much to tell him where she was, to be able to take advantage of this connection that they had established between them. But she didn't know. She had no idea where she was or how she'd gotten there.

She did know what was going to happen.

She knew Mulder would find her though. She knew that he would not stop until he had answers. She could count on that. He was stubborn, relentless; these features are what had made her trust him, believe him, follow him… love him.

She worried for him. She worried that he would blame himself. Mulder had always been such a guilt-ridden man. So much had happened to him. The only way he managed to explain the horrible things that had happened to him were to blame them on himself. She worried about what he might do to himself. She worried that she might not be there to help him through it this time.

xXx

The fact that she was keeping her eyes closed was infuriating! Even as he smashed her face into the concrete and blood spilled from her mouth, she would not look at him. She would not make a sound.

She'd stopped struggling and Donny found himself feeling disappointed. She'd been such a fighter last time. Added to the thrill of it all.

A smile spread across his face as he grabbed another handful of hair, pulling until her face was distorted with pain.

Scully fought every urge in her body to show the fear she was feeling. She wanted to cry out and scream. She wanted to fight. She couldn't make him aware, though, of how powerless he'd rendered her.

Silent tears won over her will as she felt him start cutting away at her hair.

What was worse than the fear or powerlessness was that feeling that nagged at her heart, hopeless.

She wasn't afraid for herself. Her only regret would be having not told Mulder of her feelings for him. He knew though, she was sure of it. He knew that she cared for him, respected him, trusted him… loved him. Maybe he wasn't sure of how she loved him; but she knew that he was aware of her feelings for him.

Pfaster finally let go of her, happy with his fire red trophy that he now held in his hands. She could hear him inhaling the scent of it and she shuttered. Before leaving her though, he used his scissors to slice down the back of her arm.

Scully screamed and a wave of satisfaction washed over him. He'd had to work hard for it, but he'd gotten what he'd wanted.

The blood from her arm settled into a warm, sticky pool around her.

"I'm going to send you friend a little present girly girl." He snickered. "Let him know about all the fun we're having."

Despite the fear and rage that was gripping her; Scully couldn't help but feel relieved that Pfaster hadn't decided to send a severed finger or something of the like.

He finally left her to her frightened thoughts and frantic prayers.

She knew he'd be gone a while. He'd be busy toying with Mulder.

Sighing, Scully let silent tears run down her cheeks.

He was going to be too late… she just knew he would be. Pfaster meant for him to be. He had plans for her.

xXx

Mulder was combing through Scully's apartment for what seemed like the thousandth time; hoping against hope that he'd missed something before.

He knew he hadn't.

But he didn't know what else to do.

He turned when he heard a board creak behind him. A young police officer stepped into the room.

Mulder stood.

"I thought I told everyone to wait outside."

The young man glanced down at his feet. "Yes Sir." He replied. "A man dropped this off though - said it was relevant to the case."

Mulder took the box that had been offered to him. "Who dropped it off?" He began pulling at the sides of the package.

"I'm not exactly sure. The man handed it off and the vanished." He fell silent when he saw the color drain from the FBI agent's face.

Mulder picked the note out of the box, trying his damnedest not to throw up right there. The only thing on the sheet of paper was an address. He stared at it for a moment before shoving the box back into the cop's hands and running out of the room.

After the cop watched Mulder leave, he looked into the box - inside were several locks of blood spattered red hair.

xXx

Rape wasn't part of Pfaster's M/O. None of his other victim's had shown evidence of sexual trauma; only the physical damage done to them. But as he stood over her, looking down at her bound body, Scully had the sick feeling that he was about to change things.

"I've been in prison a long time girly girl." His voice was thick and husky. "And all I've been thinking about is the look on his face when he sees that he didn't get here in time." He knelt down and straddled her beaten body. "You fought so hard last time."

The feel of cold metal let her know that he had a knife even though her eyes were closed. He grabbed her hand and started to push the blade into her flesh.

"NO!" She tried to pull herself away.

He pulled the blade away from her now bloody hand and held it to her cheek. He created a bloody trail from her cheek to her throat.

"We're going to have so much fun. I've saved so much for you girly girl."

"Please don't do this." She begged as she felt the knife start to cut at the buttons of her shirt. "Please."

xXx

Emptiness… that's all she could feel. Scully let herself feel the jacket that still adorned her shoulders. She tried to remember being in Mulder's arms the night before. She let her eyes close and tried to find his face in the darkness.

"Mulder, I can't do this." Tears began to run down her cheeks again.

"Hold on Scully. Just hold on. I'm coming."

Her eyes shot open. She wasn't exactly sure how she'd managed to do it or what was happening, but she had somehow managed to pull her bound arms up enough to grab hold of the knife that he was lazily holding to her throat.

The knife sliced her fingers as she struggled for control.

She felt the blade against the skin of her throat as she overpowered her. She could hear herself scream before everything went black.

xXx

Mulder pulled into the driveway of a ratty house not quite sure what the expect. He was still trying to brace himself as he approached the front door. Drawing his gun, he tried the door knob - it was unlocked.

Quickly and quietly he made his way inside. The place was eerily quiet and Mulder was starting to wonder if he'd been had.

He had just stepped into the kitchen and noticed a door that seemed to lead to a basement of cellar when a scream, her scream, pierced the thick silence.

Mulder's heart jumped into his throat and before he was even aware of moving he found himself at the bottom of the stairs, trying to process the bloody scene before him.

He approached the man that was laying on the floor. The man's pants were pulled down around his ankles and when Mulder turned him over; he felt suddenly ill again.

"Pfaster." He glanced at the knife that protruded from his throat.

He spun around quickly, knowing she was near. Her pale form became visible in the shadows. He rushed to her and pulled the jacket she was wearing over her exposed body. His hand becoming soaked in her blood.

"Oh my God, Scully!' He hadn't meant to scream, but the terror of what he was looking at was too much. Panicked tears were on him before he had a chance to think. Her once bright eyes were glazed and fixed. He knew she was dead. Blood still dripped from the slash across her throat. He felt desperately for a pulse.

Pulling out his cell phone, he made his desperate cry for help.

"Scully, you have to stay with me." He held her close. "Don't leave me here alone." A sob escaped his throat. "Scully," He begged. "You have to hold on."

xXx

"Scully," He breathed. "Scully - where are you?" He couldn't find her. Panic. "Scully!"

He jolted awake. Quickly sitting up, he examined his surroundings.

He was still in his cold hospital room. He looked towards her bed. She was staring right at him.

He got up from the chair he'd been dozing him and went to stand beside her. "Hey." He smiled down at her.

She opened her mouth and strained to make a sound. "You need to go home Mulder." Her voice came in a raspy whisper.

"Nah." He shook his head. "I don't want to leave you here by yourself Scully." He smiled. "God knows you've sat beside enough hospital beds with me. It's my turn to return the favor."

She offered a weak smiled. "It's okay Mulder. I'm fine."

He took her hand into his own and gently caressed each finger. A few moments passed before he could bring himself to look into her eyes. "But maybe I'm not."

xXx

Scully glanced over her shoulder, again assuring herself that he was still there.

He nodded in acknowledgment and offered a smile.

She slowly made her way down the hallway, pausing as she approached her bedroom door.

"You'd never even know anything happened here." She said quietly.

Her heart had started beating so fast that she could hear the blood rushing in her ears. The room started to spin as her eyes slowly shut. She could feel herself teetering. His hand found it's resting place on the small of her back and pulled her back into reality.

"Pack a few things Scully." Her gaze shifted to his face. "And we'll get out of here."

Nodding, she stepped away from him and into the bedroom.

It didn't take her long to stuff her duffle bad full of a few days worth of clothes and toiletries. Although she'd been relieved beyond relief when Mulder had offered to let her stay with him, she didn't want to seem too eager or to stay long enough to "over stay her welcome," as it were.

"Thank you Mulder." She said once they were back in the car.

Her voice was so quiet. Mulder couldn't recall a time that Scully had seemed so fragile. Her stature was heavy and her eyes were downcast. This was not his proud, confident Scully. She was so defeated. Even when he had tried to establish eye contact; something they had always shared - their connection, she had looked away.

"It's no problem Scully." He reached over and slid his hand over hers. He fingered her still bandaged fingers. "It will make me feel better to have you right there." An awkward silence was building. "And it will be closer to work that you mom's place."

He glanced sideways and caught her nod of acknowledgment. Her eyes were distant though and he knew she wasn't with him.

The short trip from the car up to the apartment was made in silence.

Scully stepped in and looked around the place blindly. All she could really see was fog.

Mulder stepped passed her and carried her bags into the bedroom.

She was still standing in the door way when he came back out. "I've got the bed ready for you Scully." He tried to smile. "I thought you would probably appreciate that more than the couch." She stared at him blankly. "Scully?" His brow furrowed with concern as he approached her. "Scully?" He placed his hands on her arms. "God, Scully, you're freezing."

He moved to pull her close to him but she jerked away quickly. She stared at him, wide eyed, only briefly before letting her gaze fall to the floor.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

Mulder was at a loss. He wasn't sure what she was apologizing for. He felt like a jerk. He could have known better. She had just been violated in every way. Every inch of her body had been abused and misused. He'd worked enough cases to know that a victim of such a crime would be leery of human contact. Especially a woman of that of a man's.

To think of Scully in the context of a case seemed wrong. To see Scully as the victim tore at his mind. Dana Scully was not a victim. She was a fighter. She was an over comer. He peered down at her beaten body. The large cut on her case now bore several stitches and the slash across her throat was still bandaged.

"You just need to rest." He finally said. "You're still shocky."

She nodded. "I think I'd like to take a shower first."

"Yeah, sure." He smiled and followed her to the bathroom. "I'll grab you something to change in to." He left her momentarily and rummaged through her bag. Not finding anything that looked remotely like pajamas, he settled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from his own dresser.

She was staring at herself in the mirror as he again approached the tiny bathroom. Her fingers gently traced the deep slices in her skin and moved to finger her butchered hair. She felt like a mutilated doll. No feelings, no expression, just disfigured and empty.

As much as he wanted to scoop her up and hold her and tell her it would be okay, Mulder knew she'd have to come to terms with everything that had happened in her own time. Letting her do that was going to be the hard part.

He didn't want her know that he'd been watching her. "Hey," He called before appearing in the doorway. "I didn't see any pj's in your bad. These should work for you though."

Taking the folded clothes from him, she said a quick "Thank you." and closed the door.

xXx

She'd been standing under the steaming water for what seemed like hours. The warm water stung her cold skin, but she couldn't manage to get completely warm and she wondered if she'd ever feel warmth again. The cold of her skin on that damp, concrete floor had sunk deep into her bones.

Closing her eyes, she let the water run down her face. Zoning out was all she could manage to do right then. She wasn't ready to start thinking. Her mind, though, could only be so controlled.

Flashes of that evil, that face, that horrible - smile - if that's even what you could call it.

She could feel him. His breath on her should, his hands in her hair, his weight on her body, the cold blade of his knife on her skin.

Scully jerked and stumbled backwards. Feeling herself fall as she tripped over the side of the tub, she caught hold of the shower curtain; pulling it and the curtain rod down with her in a huge *crash*.

She moaned loudly as she tried to move. Mulder had crashed into the room and was kneeling beside her before she realized what had happened.

He reached behind him to turn off the still running water. "Are you alright?" He pulled at the shower curtain as he tried to help her stand. "What in the world happened?" He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her shoulders.

She would have been embarrassed to be standing there, completely naked in front of her partner, but it hadn't completely caught up with her what was going on.

"I tripped." She muttered.

"Yeah, ya think?" He would have probably chuckled at her any other time. "Did you hit your head?"

"No, I'm fine Mulder." She looked up at him. "I- uh - just need to get dressed." She shivered.

"Okay." He made his way out. "I'll leave you to it."

xXx

He couldn't sleep. He could hear her tossing and turning in bed; probably from another nightmare.

She'd been having them every night for the last few weeks. He would hear her cry and whimper; but she never called out, never asked for him.

So he waited, waited until she needed him.

He turned towards the sound of a creaking floor board. The darkness enshrouded her shivering form.

"You okay Scully?" He ran his hands through his hair as he sat up to make room for her on the sofa. "Come here." He held out his hand to her.

She shuffled over and sat down beside him.

Staring at her made him feel so sad for his friend. He'd never seen her so defeated… so stuck. "You're cold Scully." He pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She didn't pull away from him this time.

Scully let her head rest on his chest as she sunk into his embrace. Closing her eyes she listened to the even rhythm of his breathing. Slowly, a feeling she never thought she'd feel again washed over her body. Warmth.

His arms tightened around her.

"Mulder," She whispered. "I feel so numb." She sucked in a sharp breath. "I keep seeing him. Feeling him."

"I know." He rested his chin on her shoulder.

"He has taken everything from me." A sob choked her words. "My security, independence. I don't know if I'll ever get my life back."

"It will take time Scully." His voice was so quiet she could barely hear it. He was working hard to fight the lump in his throat. It wasn't fair that this was happening to her. She shouldn't have been dealing with those feelings. He held onto her. Having her in his arms gave him just as much comfort as it did her. "Everything will be okay again. I promise."

She rested her cheek on his forearms. He could feel her tears hit him as they slid down her face.

"I love you Mulder." She whispered.

Mulder kissed her tear stained cheek. "I love you too Scully."

She relaxed against him and closed her eyes; the smooth, even breaths escaping his lips serving as her personal lullaby.

Much needed sleep came to both of them; each finding contentedness in the arms of their friend.

xXx


End file.
